After I had Piper I was SURE that she was going to be our last. I could not imagine getting pregnant again or even having a little newborn. I would look at little babies and just think about how glad I was that the child wasn't mine and the only thing I saw was HARD work. Hard being pregnant, throwing up all day, gaining weight, crazy hormones, the pain.....oh the pain! Hard waking up at night, swollen boobs and leaky nipples. Spitting up was less than fun and the list goes on. I could think of a million and one reasons why I wanted to be done having kids. Trying to convince Kevin was extremely difficult. But I was stubborn and I was done, done, done.
Then one gloriously beautiful day standing outside in my front yard I had a feeling. I calm peaceful feeling that rocked my world forever, and especially my husbands. There was another spirit for us. What?????? No, not again! Please don't soften my oh so amazing strong will(heart)! But I couldn't deny it and then I started thinking about it constantly. So after many battles in my head, I had to bite the bullet and admit to Kevin and myself that I was wrong. But more importantly, I had to convince myself that I could do this ALL over again.
You can imagine the joy Kevin felt when I completely blindsided him with the information. He was just stunned. And still as I was speaking the words, I could hardly believe what I was hearing myself say. Really? Really?
So, without giving all the gory details we started to "try" again. And since I've set records in the conception department three times in a row I naturally thought that I was in complete control and would be reading a positive pregnancy test in two weeks. Wrong. What? Weird. Okay, let's do this again. And a month goes by and this time my period is a week late. Slam dunk, I thought. Well, I thought wrong. Nope, no dice. How can this be? I've done this before. I know what happens when......... well you know. So three more months go by and still, I'm waiting. So that's five months and no baby on board.
It's strange to think that it took a major softening of my heart and now I'm over here expected to wait. It's fine, just unexpected I guess. I'm not is a hurry but at some point it would be nice to get the "show on the road," if ya know what I mean. :)
So there......a completely post that is total TMI. But hey, what are sisters/daughters for?
Love you all.
Jen
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